Hrmm, lemme take a shot at this:
KUALA TERENGGANU: A 35-year-old man who inserted various objects, including his toes, into his wife’s private parts to satisfy his lust needs psychiatric attention immediately, Terengganu executive councillor Ashaari Idris said.
Okay, wait. What does an exco (who is not, if I'm right, a medical doctor) have to do with a sexually deranged man again? And why is a newspaper reporter asking for his opinion, of all people?
Ashaari, who is also state Welfare, Community Development and Women’s Affairs Committee chairman said, the man, from Besut, needed help ...
Oh! I get it! He's in charge of state welfare! That makes sense now ... our politicians are, after all, prescient all-knowing prophets elected by God to have extraordinary knowledge and power and wisdom and sight.
... before he preyed on others, particularly young girls to satisfy his sexual desires.
So when I have problems with my wife, I am immediately suspect of future sexual predatorship. Wow. I never knew that. Right. Very logical. But must be true right? Because exco said so!
The man’s 28-year-old wife lodged a report against her husband last Monday, alleging that he had inserted various objects into her private parts.
But the police were not quoted, oh no, intelligent god exco was.
“This man should be referred to a psychotherapist to treat his sexual disorder before he targets innocents,” he told The Star yesterday.
SUCH GENIUS! SUCH WISDOM! SUCH OMNISCIENT SIGHT!
Ashaari said the wife claimed that she endured much pain each time the couple had intercourse because of the husband’s actions.
If I stick a toe up your vagina, Mr Ashaari, assuming that you are female, you would be in pain too.
“The wife could no longer tolerate the man’s sexual acts and she lodged a report against him.
Actually, no la. She lodged a report because she thought it would be fun.
“This is a rare thing in our society, especially in a small place like Besut,” he said.
Rare?! Where got? It is so common that MY MATHER AND FATHER AND ALL MY FRIENDS PUNYA MATHERS AND FATHERS ALL STICK TOES UP THEIR RESPECTIVE HOLES EVERY TIME THEY HAVE SEX. (Of course it's rare la, you don't need to tell us for us to know it's rare ...)
In her report, the housewife alleged that her husband had tried to insert his toes into her private parts again at 1am on Monday, triggering a heated argument between the couple.
Oh yes, intrepid reporter. You could have told us that before you quoted Mr. Exco, like, I dunno - the start of the friggin article?!
...
I sometimes wonder at the ability of Malaysian journalists.
